Have you ever had one of those moments when someone says something to you or to a group you are a part of, that shocks you so much, you cannot find the words to reply?
They create a feeling of shock, embarrassment, anger, or even sadness...yet there seems to be no appropriate response.
Or if there is one, it doesn't come to you until hours later, so you file it away, hoping you remember it just in case a similar situation should ever arise again?
The worst part though, is that when you later have the opportunity to speak to this person they have no clue about what they did. To them is was a way to find some personal amusement, or to make a point. So me being me, I say nothing, and hope it doesn't happen again.
I don't know if it is a natural born "sweetness of character" ---somehow I doubt this :)
Or, if I was raised to be too polite, but I have a very difficult time allowing myself to let someone know when they have offended me....how do you do that? I wish I knew, because the few times I have not weighed my words carefully, I was then accused of being a moody biotch! Sheesh!
Friday, July 28, 2006
Tuesday, July 25, 2006
Superfluous
I woke up this morning, and the sun was shining! Bad, bad, bad.
My first thought being we had all overslept!
Wrong, wrong, wrong.
Guess hubby thought I wasn't needed anymore, so he turned off my alarm clock.
At first I was angry, then hurt, why did he shut me out like that, it has been building with "this particular project" for two years.
Then as I ingested my first cup of coffee, and my mind could actually work, instead run on emotion only...I came to the realization that it really didn't matter what his reasons are......
They have to do with HIS time with our daughter, in the space of time when I have been sidelined in this one area of our lives.... they have finally built a relationship...which would not have occurred if I were in the picture as much....she and I are way to close....
But ya' know it still hurts a little, and even though at this instant I feel redundant and shoved aside.....in the long run....it is all for the best....plus once I get to the show....they will definitely be wanting my help....and so even though I have become the one standing mostly on the sidelines in this endeavor...I AM still needed...after all I am THE MOM, I always inject the sanity in the moments of extreme stress, and most importantly the one who always brings food and drink for all :)
My first thought being we had all overslept!
Wrong, wrong, wrong.
Guess hubby thought I wasn't needed anymore, so he turned off my alarm clock.
At first I was angry, then hurt, why did he shut me out like that, it has been building with "this particular project" for two years.
Then as I ingested my first cup of coffee, and my mind could actually work, instead run on emotion only...I came to the realization that it really didn't matter what his reasons are......
They have to do with HIS time with our daughter, in the space of time when I have been sidelined in this one area of our lives.... they have finally built a relationship...which would not have occurred if I were in the picture as much....she and I are way to close....
But ya' know it still hurts a little, and even though at this instant I feel redundant and shoved aside.....in the long run....it is all for the best....plus once I get to the show....they will definitely be wanting my help....and so even though I have become the one standing mostly on the sidelines in this endeavor...I AM still needed...after all I am THE MOM, I always inject the sanity in the moments of extreme stress, and most importantly the one who always brings food and drink for all :)
Saturday, July 22, 2006
Book Musings
It was a bitch of a work week, and next week is going to be a doubly busy week because of the stuff that is going on.
Soo because of that, I decided my debris laden home needed a good cleaning.....God! I hate cleaning, such an endless task. Which of course led me to this much needed break...and to ponder on the musings I had during that mindless activity.
I was dusting my main bookshelves, rearranging the books in some sort of order once again, when I started really looking at the titles, the authors. Most, if not all of the books were purchased by me, or were gifts to me. I never realized what strange reading habits I possess.
One shelf is devoted to some of my favorite classics--the Bronte's, Dickens, Hemingway, Shakespeare, Stevens, Twain, etc. With special spot reserved for my Tolkien special editions, then I have the poetry section, I smiled to see Silverstein alongside Keats, but yep that is the way my mind works.
Then there are the novellists....I think I have read every Mary Higgins Clark, almost every James Patterson, every Maureen McCaffrey, every Michael Crichton, almost every Pat Conroy, Terry Pratchett, Goodkind, a few Neil Stephenson, most of Steven King, and the list goes on and on, with even a few Kris Raddish thrown in. I read most of the Robert Jourdan series...until it started to bore me beyond belief and I started getting it confused with the Goodkind series.
What amazes me the most, is that many of them I have read at least twice. How can I read a book twice, or thrice? Because I am never reading just one book at a time. Half the time I have no idea who or what I am reading until I look. *went to bedside table and looked*
Currently I am in the midst of re-reading Adams's Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy (really all the books in one, is that an anthology?), re-reading Terry Pratchett's Reaper Man, and an author I have never read before---Erika Spindler's Shocking Pink, plus a book of poetry written and published by one of my clients.
Do you do that, read several at once? Each night before I go to sleep, I have to read, and I mean have to....can't nod off without....I may read a chapter of two from each, or just pick one some nights. I have always been so envious of people who can quote from a writer's work, but maybe just maybe if I read just one book at a time, I could remember. I have even re-purchased books before not realizing I had already read them....duh on me!
I currently seem to be in the need of the smiles that Adams and Pratchett can give me. I particularly was struck by chapter seven of The Restaurant At The End Of The Universe for some reason this time. I love Marvin the robot.
In Pratchett, he has a chapter on 'old ones' going on and on about how life was better in the old days...you would swear he has spent time with my clients, so stereotypical but so true. A quote:
"Everything was wrong these days. More thin, more fuzzy. No real life in anything. And the days were shorter. Mmm. Something had gone wrong with the days. They were shorter days. Mmm. Everyday took an age to go by, which was odd, because days plural went past like a stampede. ......Endless days going by fast. Didn't make sense. Mmm. Mind you, you didn't get the sense now that you used to get in the old days."
I also always get the giggles when I read Pratchett, the conversations he writes are so real, even if the characters are S/F Fantasy.
This is half a dozen wizards of Wizard University discussing a fellow wizard who died, but DEATH was not there to take him away, so he re-inhabited his body-----really guess ya gotta read it to really get it.
The conversation went like this:
"It's got to be Windle! It even talked like him!"
"It's not old Windle. Old Windle was a lot older!"
"Older? Older than dead?"
"He's said he wants his old bedroom back, and I don't see why I should move out---"
"Did you see his eyes? Like gimlets!"
"Eh? What? What'd you mean? You mean like that dwarf who runs the delicatessen on Cable Street?"
"I mean like they bore into you!"
"--its got a lovely view of the gardens and I've had all my stuff moved in and it's not fair---"
"Has this ever happened before?"
"Well, there was old Teatar--"
"Yes, but he never actually died, he just used to put green paint on his face and push the lid off the coffin and shout 'Surprise, surprise--"
""We've never had a zombie here"
"He's a zombie?"
"I think so--"
"Does that mean he'll be playing kettle drums an doing that bimbo dancing all night, then?"
"Is that what they do?"
"Old Windle? Doesn't sound like his cup of tea. He never liked dancing much when he was alive--"
"Anyway, you can't trust those voodoo gods, Never trust a god who grins all the time and wears a top hat, that's my motto."
"--I'm damned if I'm going to give up my bedroom to a zombie after waiting years for it---"
"Is it? That's a funny motto."
I dunno you reader may not find it amusing, may have to read the entire book, or be attached to his Disc World Series to really get it.....but it sooo reminds me of real life conversations with more than 3 or 4 people are taking part.
Anyway, I have wasted way too much time blogging instead of cleaning...Grrr..cleaning.
Soo because of that, I decided my debris laden home needed a good cleaning.....God! I hate cleaning, such an endless task. Which of course led me to this much needed break...and to ponder on the musings I had during that mindless activity.
I was dusting my main bookshelves, rearranging the books in some sort of order once again, when I started really looking at the titles, the authors. Most, if not all of the books were purchased by me, or were gifts to me. I never realized what strange reading habits I possess.
One shelf is devoted to some of my favorite classics--the Bronte's, Dickens, Hemingway, Shakespeare, Stevens, Twain, etc. With special spot reserved for my Tolkien special editions, then I have the poetry section, I smiled to see Silverstein alongside Keats, but yep that is the way my mind works.
Then there are the novellists....I think I have read every Mary Higgins Clark, almost every James Patterson, every Maureen McCaffrey, every Michael Crichton, almost every Pat Conroy, Terry Pratchett, Goodkind, a few Neil Stephenson, most of Steven King, and the list goes on and on, with even a few Kris Raddish thrown in. I read most of the Robert Jourdan series...until it started to bore me beyond belief and I started getting it confused with the Goodkind series.
What amazes me the most, is that many of them I have read at least twice. How can I read a book twice, or thrice? Because I am never reading just one book at a time. Half the time I have no idea who or what I am reading until I look. *went to bedside table and looked*
Currently I am in the midst of re-reading Adams's Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy (really all the books in one, is that an anthology?), re-reading Terry Pratchett's Reaper Man, and an author I have never read before---Erika Spindler's Shocking Pink, plus a book of poetry written and published by one of my clients.
Do you do that, read several at once? Each night before I go to sleep, I have to read, and I mean have to....can't nod off without....I may read a chapter of two from each, or just pick one some nights. I have always been so envious of people who can quote from a writer's work, but maybe just maybe if I read just one book at a time, I could remember. I have even re-purchased books before not realizing I had already read them....duh on me!
I currently seem to be in the need of the smiles that Adams and Pratchett can give me. I particularly was struck by chapter seven of The Restaurant At The End Of The Universe for some reason this time. I love Marvin the robot.
In Pratchett, he has a chapter on 'old ones' going on and on about how life was better in the old days...you would swear he has spent time with my clients, so stereotypical but so true. A quote:
"Everything was wrong these days. More thin, more fuzzy. No real life in anything. And the days were shorter. Mmm. Something had gone wrong with the days. They were shorter days. Mmm. Everyday took an age to go by, which was odd, because days plural went past like a stampede. ......Endless days going by fast. Didn't make sense. Mmm. Mind you, you didn't get the sense now that you used to get in the old days."
I also always get the giggles when I read Pratchett, the conversations he writes are so real, even if the characters are S/F Fantasy.
This is half a dozen wizards of Wizard University discussing a fellow wizard who died, but DEATH was not there to take him away, so he re-inhabited his body-----really guess ya gotta read it to really get it.
The conversation went like this:
"It's got to be Windle! It even talked like him!"
"It's not old Windle. Old Windle was a lot older!"
"Older? Older than dead?"
"He's said he wants his old bedroom back, and I don't see why I should move out---"
"Did you see his eyes? Like gimlets!"
"Eh? What? What'd you mean? You mean like that dwarf who runs the delicatessen on Cable Street?"
"I mean like they bore into you!"
"--its got a lovely view of the gardens and I've had all my stuff moved in and it's not fair---"
"Has this ever happened before?"
"Well, there was old Teatar--"
"Yes, but he never actually died, he just used to put green paint on his face and push the lid off the coffin and shout 'Surprise, surprise--"
""We've never had a zombie here"
"He's a zombie?"
"I think so--"
"Does that mean he'll be playing kettle drums an doing that bimbo dancing all night, then?"
"Is that what they do?"
"Old Windle? Doesn't sound like his cup of tea. He never liked dancing much when he was alive--"
"Anyway, you can't trust those voodoo gods, Never trust a god who grins all the time and wears a top hat, that's my motto."
"--I'm damned if I'm going to give up my bedroom to a zombie after waiting years for it---"
"Is it? That's a funny motto."
I dunno you reader may not find it amusing, may have to read the entire book, or be attached to his Disc World Series to really get it.....but it sooo reminds me of real life conversations with more than 3 or 4 people are taking part.
Anyway, I have wasted way too much time blogging instead of cleaning...Grrr..cleaning.
A list of Words to Write a Story.
The list: ivy, squat, mizzenmast, iguana, rivulet, muzzle, xerography, twosome, foyer, decibel
The rules: use all ten in the order given
Ivy was so pissed off at herself! How could anyone ask her to do such a thing? Life was not fair! They were not playing fair! How the hell was she supposed to squat in the worst heat of the day, not even a shadow from the mizzenmast for 45 more minutes, watching some idiots stupid iguana eating a leaf of lettuce. Not moving a muscle, not even supposed to scratch her nose. This was the biggest most moronic dare she had ever taken, and she had done a few. Was it her fault she was constantly betting people they couldn't do something, and then they proved to her they could? She lost bet after bet, but that didn't stop her.
Ivy's theory was that with her bets, her friends learned that their limits were much farther than they thought. That it was okay to take risks. But damn! She had another rivulet of sweat dripping down the middle of her forehead, she knew it would soon join the others in her right eye, stinging, burning.
Fuck! When was she going to learn to muzzle her mouth? She was so fucking bored watching that damn iguana do absolutely nothing, she felt like she was studying the art of xerography. Now wouldn't her photographer father love that!
Her muscles aching, she knew her thighs would begin to cramp soon. Her arms weren't too bad yet, she was allowed to let them hang at her sides, but her calves were already a twosome of rigid burning muscle.
To get her mind off the pain, she tried to imagine her trip to the coast next week. The house there was awesome, awe inspiring really. In the foyer, the original owners had placed a huge stained glass chandelier, when the sun shown through the second floor landing, a rainbow of colors would flow across the white marble floors. Those floors felt so good on hot bare feet, especially after spending hours walking along the shore.
God damn iguana, its eyes were closed, it was sleeping. What lesson was she supposed to learn from this....oh yes, patience, and the awareness of how something that moved so slowly could still accomplish so much in a mere one hour. But what the hell can an iguana accomplish? Two bites of lettuce, and it takes a shit then sleeps. Maybe if she was really lucky it would go into a molt or whatever you call it with lizards, then she could watch it scratch itself on the mizzenmast. While she groaned out her level of pain and boredom in ever increasing decibels.
But Ivy would not give up, from the feel of the sun she could tell she had reached the halfway point......she may continuouly lose her bets. But she never gave up on dares. With a grimace of pain, she yelled out, "Mikey, you are sooo going to pay for this!" But, she knew that she would succeed. She always did. She may ache for days afterward, and be burned to reddened crisp. But she never ever gave up.
Now this was kind of fun, eased a night of total and complete boredom. Hmm I may try another version of this.
The rules: use all ten in the order given
Ivy was so pissed off at herself! How could anyone ask her to do such a thing? Life was not fair! They were not playing fair! How the hell was she supposed to squat in the worst heat of the day, not even a shadow from the mizzenmast for 45 more minutes, watching some idiots stupid iguana eating a leaf of lettuce. Not moving a muscle, not even supposed to scratch her nose. This was the biggest most moronic dare she had ever taken, and she had done a few. Was it her fault she was constantly betting people they couldn't do something, and then they proved to her they could? She lost bet after bet, but that didn't stop her.
Ivy's theory was that with her bets, her friends learned that their limits were much farther than they thought. That it was okay to take risks. But damn! She had another rivulet of sweat dripping down the middle of her forehead, she knew it would soon join the others in her right eye, stinging, burning.
Fuck! When was she going to learn to muzzle her mouth? She was so fucking bored watching that damn iguana do absolutely nothing, she felt like she was studying the art of xerography. Now wouldn't her photographer father love that!
Her muscles aching, she knew her thighs would begin to cramp soon. Her arms weren't too bad yet, she was allowed to let them hang at her sides, but her calves were already a twosome of rigid burning muscle.
To get her mind off the pain, she tried to imagine her trip to the coast next week. The house there was awesome, awe inspiring really. In the foyer, the original owners had placed a huge stained glass chandelier, when the sun shown through the second floor landing, a rainbow of colors would flow across the white marble floors. Those floors felt so good on hot bare feet, especially after spending hours walking along the shore.
God damn iguana, its eyes were closed, it was sleeping. What lesson was she supposed to learn from this....oh yes, patience, and the awareness of how something that moved so slowly could still accomplish so much in a mere one hour. But what the hell can an iguana accomplish? Two bites of lettuce, and it takes a shit then sleeps. Maybe if she was really lucky it would go into a molt or whatever you call it with lizards, then she could watch it scratch itself on the mizzenmast. While she groaned out her level of pain and boredom in ever increasing decibels.
But Ivy would not give up, from the feel of the sun she could tell she had reached the halfway point......she may continuouly lose her bets. But she never gave up on dares. With a grimace of pain, she yelled out, "Mikey, you are sooo going to pay for this!" But, she knew that she would succeed. She always did. She may ache for days afterward, and be burned to reddened crisp. But she never ever gave up.
Now this was kind of fun, eased a night of total and complete boredom. Hmm I may try another version of this.
Tuesday, July 18, 2006
YEARNING
Yearning inside the glass dome, where does it go, this tight bud of rose?
Drawing me toward a finding, a loss, remorse coupled with pleasure.
Transcending me, you, us, it seems to seek a peace.
She plays a game, spreading the warm ache of desire.
The petals open, one by one, then the many falling to the floor of my heart.
Finding the precious balance of need and awakening seems so far away.
Departing my mind, coupling, searching through the debris no answers found.
She plays a game, spreading the warm ache of desire.
Lost in the proceeds of giving, receiving, where does it end in the night?
Is betrayal there, looking in your eyes for answers to the unasked.
Shouting out words of abandonment, I am only here for awhile.
She plays a game, spreading the warm ache of desire.
Wounds to be found full of fear and cries of passion seeking promises untold.
Tears from underneath canvassing the light of my soul for the creation of what?
Beginning an ending, bereft, failing to forgive the ending of our transparency.
She plays a game, spreading the warm ache of desire.
Pieces fall, are replaced, not found, wound up tight in the search for blame.
Not here, never were, bound up in the sounds of those left behind.
Reaching deep into a lonely shell of regret and renewal, time passes away.
She plays a game, spreading the warm ache of desire.
Drawing me toward a finding, a loss, remorse coupled with pleasure.
Transcending me, you, us, it seems to seek a peace.
She plays a game, spreading the warm ache of desire.
The petals open, one by one, then the many falling to the floor of my heart.
Finding the precious balance of need and awakening seems so far away.
Departing my mind, coupling, searching through the debris no answers found.
She plays a game, spreading the warm ache of desire.
Lost in the proceeds of giving, receiving, where does it end in the night?
Is betrayal there, looking in your eyes for answers to the unasked.
Shouting out words of abandonment, I am only here for awhile.
She plays a game, spreading the warm ache of desire.
Wounds to be found full of fear and cries of passion seeking promises untold.
Tears from underneath canvassing the light of my soul for the creation of what?
Beginning an ending, bereft, failing to forgive the ending of our transparency.
She plays a game, spreading the warm ache of desire.
Pieces fall, are replaced, not found, wound up tight in the search for blame.
Not here, never were, bound up in the sounds of those left behind.
Reaching deep into a lonely shell of regret and renewal, time passes away.
She plays a game, spreading the warm ache of desire.
Saturday, July 15, 2006
10 Things
01. What is your favourite word?
Serendipity. I have always loved this word, at one time I had hoped to open up a shop naming it SERENDIPTIY....guess what kind of shop???
02. What is your least favourite word?
skank....don't know why but I really don't like that word.
03. What turns you on creatively, spiritually, or emotionally?
words--great literature, a well-turned phrase; photographs or paintings that engender emotions deep within; a quiet star-filled night sky; the view of a large body of water...with no land in sight; a tunnel of green leaves hanging over a path; the mountains; feeling love for another human being; so many things.
04. What turns you off?
ignorance, bigotry, snobbery, a person giving up.
05. What is your favourite curse word?
fuck, it can have so many meanings.
06. What sound or noise do you love?
laughter...especially that belonging to my children, family, and friends.
07. What sound or noise do you hate?
hmmmm--a toss-up, either the alarm clock, or the final thump of the closing of a really excellent book--when I have reached the end of it.
08. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
Librarian, or bookstore owner........I adore being surrounded with books.
09. What profession would you not like to do?
Pig farmer--nuff said--as I hold my nose.
10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
You gave it your best...and they know you loved them.
Serendipity. I have always loved this word, at one time I had hoped to open up a shop naming it SERENDIPTIY....guess what kind of shop???
02. What is your least favourite word?
skank....don't know why but I really don't like that word.
03. What turns you on creatively, spiritually, or emotionally?
words--great literature, a well-turned phrase; photographs or paintings that engender emotions deep within; a quiet star-filled night sky; the view of a large body of water...with no land in sight; a tunnel of green leaves hanging over a path; the mountains; feeling love for another human being; so many things.
04. What turns you off?
ignorance, bigotry, snobbery, a person giving up.
05. What is your favourite curse word?
fuck, it can have so many meanings.
06. What sound or noise do you love?
laughter...especially that belonging to my children, family, and friends.
07. What sound or noise do you hate?
hmmmm--a toss-up, either the alarm clock, or the final thump of the closing of a really excellent book--when I have reached the end of it.
08. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
Librarian, or bookstore owner........I adore being surrounded with books.
09. What profession would you not like to do?
Pig farmer--nuff said--as I hold my nose.
10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
You gave it your best...and they know you loved them.
Friday, July 14, 2006
Two Life Lessons from a 97 Year Old
A look of surprise on her face as she said.............."Life is to enjoy, laugh at, laugh about, so why moan and groan about the little things that really don't matter all that much............. plus I've got my basketball games. "
The above was in response to the comment that she always seemed so cheerful. She is trying to fill her summer hours with the game of baseball, but says it is much harder to understand......she knows there is a pitcher, a catcher, a shortstop, and she "really really wants to 'help' them when they are running the bases." She can't wait for basketball season to start again.
Much giggling................."Never throw rocks at a German Shepherd, he will bite you in the balls the first chance he gets, and you will deserve it."
In response to a question about owning pets.....she once owned a shepherd and her neighbor hated it, he threw rocks at it, one day when visiting their home, the dog leaped at him as he entered the door, and went straight for the groin.....neighbor only needed 9 stitches......
The above was in response to the comment that she always seemed so cheerful. She is trying to fill her summer hours with the game of baseball, but says it is much harder to understand......she knows there is a pitcher, a catcher, a shortstop, and she "really really wants to 'help' them when they are running the bases." She can't wait for basketball season to start again.
Much giggling................."Never throw rocks at a German Shepherd, he will bite you in the balls the first chance he gets, and you will deserve it."
In response to a question about owning pets.....she once owned a shepherd and her neighbor hated it, he threw rocks at it, one day when visiting their home, the dog leaped at him as he entered the door, and went straight for the groin.....neighbor only needed 9 stitches......
Sunday, July 09, 2006
Taking a Step Back
Have you ever had one of those days when for some reason you seem to view the world from a different perspective? When you look at the people around you, wondering what makes them do the things they do, what small things make them happy, what happens in their daily lives that keeps them content?
On occasion this happens to me. Perhaps it is the type of people I work with, my clients, perhaps it is the way I view my world in general, I do seem to analyze quite a bit. Perhaps it is an 82yr. old in my life that has decided that she has lived to long, and it is time to die, but she is too healthy to die yet, so she sits around observing her small world and bitching about it and everyone in it.
What small little moments make us content with life on most days?
Sometimes it can be the silliest little things.
This weekend I had the rare opportunity to pick up the television remote control and watch an uninterrupted few minutes of television...I chose the documentary channel, yeah yeah I am weird....anyway.... learning about the anarchy movement in the United States, or revisting how being blacklisted in the 1950's affected peoples lives.....was of great interest to me...a few moments of contentment, enjoying that time, a time when I got to choose what I watched.....my television viewing habits are most often effected by my hearing something interesting blareing away, that someone else has chosen to watch, then I may go in the room, sit down for a few moments to watch and listen, but it is not me who did the choosing, it is one of the other two who live here or the #1 son who visits to eat/watch tv/scrounge for loose change/or help us out when we need a few extra hands.
Other moments ~~ an acquaintance stopping by to ask a favor, and along with that bringing me some of the yummiest homebaked brownies as a thank you in advance ~~ going to the drive-in to watch the second Pirates of the Carribean ~~ feeling the burn in my arms from helping to put up over 200 bales of hay...the whole family working together to accomplish a task ~~ finally getting the yard mowed...well most of it anyway, the mower broke down as I was doing some final roadside trimming ~~ rereading portions of Hitchhikers Guide ~~ finding two young frogs living in my very small garden pond ~~ enjoying some shrimp lo-mein ~~ finding the first green beans ready in the garden ~~ watching the moon change over the past few evenings ~~ even getting an answer or two typed first and correct during an online trivia game ~~ making my children laugh because I screamed as I was cleaning out the pond and my hand closed over a dead koi...yucky feeling... but their laughter was worth it ~~ as I finished weeding the flower beds, remembering how my 4-yr.old great-nephew helped me a few days ago, how he learned immediately what was a weed and what wasn't, the pleasure he felt from helping me, the pleasure he got from me catching him a toad....over and over and over and over again...he wanted to hold them so badly, but each time it made it's little chirrup sound he would quickly drop it back in the pond, only to want it again ~~
Such small little things, things that don't matter at all in the great scheme of things, but those little things are life, remembering to enjoy them, instead of worrying about tomorrow, or next year. Breathing life in, breathing in and enjoying those very small breaths of life, they may not create great happiness, but contentment, yes they do engender such a nice feeling of contentment.
On occasion this happens to me. Perhaps it is the type of people I work with, my clients, perhaps it is the way I view my world in general, I do seem to analyze quite a bit. Perhaps it is an 82yr. old in my life that has decided that she has lived to long, and it is time to die, but she is too healthy to die yet, so she sits around observing her small world and bitching about it and everyone in it.
What small little moments make us content with life on most days?
Sometimes it can be the silliest little things.
This weekend I had the rare opportunity to pick up the television remote control and watch an uninterrupted few minutes of television...I chose the documentary channel, yeah yeah I am weird....anyway.... learning about the anarchy movement in the United States, or revisting how being blacklisted in the 1950's affected peoples lives.....was of great interest to me...a few moments of contentment, enjoying that time, a time when I got to choose what I watched.....my television viewing habits are most often effected by my hearing something interesting blareing away, that someone else has chosen to watch, then I may go in the room, sit down for a few moments to watch and listen, but it is not me who did the choosing, it is one of the other two who live here or the #1 son who visits to eat/watch tv/scrounge for loose change/or help us out when we need a few extra hands.
Other moments ~~ an acquaintance stopping by to ask a favor, and along with that bringing me some of the yummiest homebaked brownies as a thank you in advance ~~ going to the drive-in to watch the second Pirates of the Carribean ~~ feeling the burn in my arms from helping to put up over 200 bales of hay...the whole family working together to accomplish a task ~~ finally getting the yard mowed...well most of it anyway, the mower broke down as I was doing some final roadside trimming ~~ rereading portions of Hitchhikers Guide ~~ finding two young frogs living in my very small garden pond ~~ enjoying some shrimp lo-mein ~~ finding the first green beans ready in the garden ~~ watching the moon change over the past few evenings ~~ even getting an answer or two typed first and correct during an online trivia game ~~ making my children laugh because I screamed as I was cleaning out the pond and my hand closed over a dead koi...yucky feeling... but their laughter was worth it ~~ as I finished weeding the flower beds, remembering how my 4-yr.old great-nephew helped me a few days ago, how he learned immediately what was a weed and what wasn't, the pleasure he felt from helping me, the pleasure he got from me catching him a toad....over and over and over and over again...he wanted to hold them so badly, but each time it made it's little chirrup sound he would quickly drop it back in the pond, only to want it again ~~
Such small little things, things that don't matter at all in the great scheme of things, but those little things are life, remembering to enjoy them, instead of worrying about tomorrow, or next year. Breathing life in, breathing in and enjoying those very small breaths of life, they may not create great happiness, but contentment, yes they do engender such a nice feeling of contentment.
Saturday, July 08, 2006
The Death Clock
Was playing around and came across this site, kind of pessimistic, but I couldn't resist trying it out, it seems I am too die on April 23, 2051, but every time I re-entered the same information, it came up with another date...I wonder how many people do that, continually click on the button to see if it changes, there was about a 5 year difference. But if I changed my gender to male, I lost years.....sorry fellas.
Then if I made two small changes in my lifestyle I would live to be anywhere from 100 to 103 years old....not really sure I want to be there, after visiting with most of my clients.....but there are a few that still love their lives, even at 97...or as one of my favorite clients put it she just celebrated her 79 reversed birthday.
Good thing I just want to remember to enjoy my moments as they come.
Then if I made two small changes in my lifestyle I would live to be anywhere from 100 to 103 years old....not really sure I want to be there, after visiting with most of my clients.....but there are a few that still love their lives, even at 97...or as one of my favorite clients put it she just celebrated her 79 reversed birthday.
Good thing I just want to remember to enjoy my moments as they come.
Tuesday, July 04, 2006
Little Girls and their Dolls
The things I learn from a 9 year old girl.........I never realized how out of the 'little girl loop' I was until the past few days..........
Did you know that Barbie and Ken broke up?!?! OMG!
She is with an Aussie surfer named Blaine now......
She also has smaller breasts, or at least she and her Cali friends do (which smell like tanning lotion btw).
Poor Ken, after years of trying to keep up with Barbie....her many moods, and careers, it just wasn't good enough, guess we will see him out on the waves trying out a new boogie board soon.
Or maybe he will just choose Barbie's new alter ego the Gothic Barbie
But Barbie has her own competition, the big headed Bratz dolls are still very popular with the little girls it seems, I really didn't think they would last, but once again, the years have proved me wrong...I learned last night that even though in real life "they would look like real sleezes" (quote from 9 yr. old) they are way cool. The good and evil-- Tweevils ....these are twins Kaycee and Kirstee ...being her current favorites---I have heard the line....NOP....NOT OUR PROBLEM......so many times the past few days......
The Bratz line of dolls appeared after my own daughter was done with the doll scene...her last collection of dolls was the Spice Girls line.....so when I googled Bratz.....it seems they too have critics and fans.........
"Some parents have criticized the Bratz for being "unrealistic" and claim they promote Materialism and Consumerism....."
Uh sorry, sounds a lot like the Barbie world to me....so what's new?
I guess time will tell...remember the women that had plastic surgery to become life-sized Barbies? (which Barbie would stand at about 7'2" tall, have an abnormally long neck, and have measurements something like 39-23-33) So guess the Bratz test of time will be if these young girls grow up and seek to have their heads enlarged, the eyes tilted up at the outer corners, and enough collagen injected in their lips to make Anglina's look small.......
To put it all in perspective though, my adorable 9 yr. old niece is asking her daddy for a Lee Middleton doll....sooooo even though the news of Barbie and Ken's break up has rocked my world......little girls are still little girls........thank god!
Did you know that Barbie and Ken broke up?!?! OMG!
She is with an Aussie surfer named Blaine now......She also has smaller breasts, or at least she and her Cali friends do (which smell like tanning lotion btw).
Poor Ken, after years of trying to keep up with Barbie....her many moods, and careers, it just wasn't good enough, guess we will see him out on the waves trying out a new boogie board soon. 
Or maybe he will just choose Barbie's new alter ego the Gothic Barbie
But Barbie has her own competition, the big headed Bratz dolls are still very popular with the little girls it seems, I really didn't think they would last, but once again, the years have proved me wrong...I learned last night that even though in real life "they would look like real sleezes" (quote from 9 yr. old) they are way cool. The good and evil-- Tweevils ....these are twins Kaycee and Kirstee ...being her current favorites---I have heard the line....NOP....NOT OUR PROBLEM......so many times the past few days......The Bratz line of dolls appeared after my own daughter was done with the doll scene...her last collection of dolls was the Spice Girls line.....so when I googled Bratz.....it seems they too have critics and fans.........
"Some parents have criticized the Bratz for being "unrealistic" and claim they promote Materialism and Consumerism....."
Uh sorry, sounds a lot like the Barbie world to me....so what's new?
I guess time will tell...remember the women that had plastic surgery to become life-sized Barbies? (which Barbie would stand at about 7'2" tall, have an abnormally long neck, and have measurements something like 39-23-33) So guess the Bratz test of time will be if these young girls grow up and seek to have their heads enlarged, the eyes tilted up at the outer corners, and enough collagen injected in their lips to make Anglina's look small.......
To put it all in perspective though, my adorable 9 yr. old niece is asking her daddy for a Lee Middleton doll....sooooo even though the news of Barbie and Ken's break up has rocked my world......little girls are still little girls........thank god!
Saturday, July 01, 2006
A Weekend Chuckle
A Baptist couple decide that they want to get a dog. As they are walking down the street in town, they notice that a sign in the pet shop is advertising "Christian Puppies." Their interest piqued, they go inside.
"How do you know they're Christian puppies?"
"Watch," says the owner, as he takes one of the dogs and says, "Fetch the Bible." The dog runs over to the desk, and grabs the Bible in its mouth and returns. Putting the Bible on the floor, the owner says, "Find Psalm 23." The dog flips pages with its paw until he reaches the right page, and then stops. Amazed and delighted, the couple purchase the dog and head home.
That evening, they invite some friends over and show them the dog, having him run through his Psalm 23 routine. Impressed, one of the visitors asks "Does he also know 'regular' commands?"
"Gee, we don't know. We didn't ask," replies the husband.
Turning to the dog, he says, "Sit." The dog sits. He says, "Lie down." The dog lies down. He says "Roll over." The dog rolls over.
He says "Heel." The dog runs over to him, jumps up on the sofa, puts both paws on the owner's forehead and bows his head.
"Oh Lord!" the wife exclaims. "He's PENTECOSTAL!"
"How do you know they're Christian puppies?"
"Watch," says the owner, as he takes one of the dogs and says, "Fetch the Bible." The dog runs over to the desk, and grabs the Bible in its mouth and returns. Putting the Bible on the floor, the owner says, "Find Psalm 23." The dog flips pages with its paw until he reaches the right page, and then stops. Amazed and delighted, the couple purchase the dog and head home.
That evening, they invite some friends over and show them the dog, having him run through his Psalm 23 routine. Impressed, one of the visitors asks "Does he also know 'regular' commands?"
"Gee, we don't know. We didn't ask," replies the husband.
Turning to the dog, he says, "Sit." The dog sits. He says, "Lie down." The dog lies down. He says "Roll over." The dog rolls over.
He says "Heel." The dog runs over to him, jumps up on the sofa, puts both paws on the owner's forehead and bows his head.
"Oh Lord!" the wife exclaims. "He's PENTECOSTAL!"
Far From Home
There are many things about the government of United States that I find 'just wrong'.
But...... I have the opportunities available to me to help change that...... If I so choose. I do believe in our republic, even with all of its faults.
Even though we are in the midst of a war that I disagree with, I do support the men and women who are involved in it, giving their lives because our government asked them to. I support their families who live with the daily fear that they may never see them again, who would give anything to be sharing a fireworks display with them next Tuesday.
So celebrate our Independence Day, celebrate the fact that we have the right to choose how we live, what we say, who we want to be, with them in mind.
But...... I have the opportunities available to me to help change that...... If I so choose. I do believe in our republic, even with all of its faults.
Even though we are in the midst of a war that I disagree with, I do support the men and women who are involved in it, giving their lives because our government asked them to. I support their families who live with the daily fear that they may never see them again, who would give anything to be sharing a fireworks display with them next Tuesday.
So celebrate our Independence Day, celebrate the fact that we have the right to choose how we live, what we say, who we want to be, with them in mind.
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