Sunday, March 05, 2006

Excuses


Excuses, how many times in life have you really needed one to get out of something, and you just can't think of one that makes sense, or has some basis in fact.
Two things brought this to mind, one blog that I read often came up with the idea for awarding the Everyday Oscar, to those times when we 'perform' to wiggle out of something. We all do it, even if it is putting on that mask of interest when someone is "boring the bejeezus" out of us, we act as if we are interested, we may even mimic the best "listening" body lanquage to help our performance.
I was also chatting with a friend recently and he brought up a reference to Seinfeld, and me with the worlds worst memory, tried to find that reference on a Seinfeld scripts website, I didn't find that reference, but I did start perusing the scripts, remembering past shows, remembering why I enjoyed them so much. (in an aside, I also wonder about the Seinfeld blogger, that he has time to write out all of those scripts) Anyway, I came across the script for a show in which Jerry is trying to get rid of an old friend, he finding it impossible to do. He decides to make a list of excuses to have handy by the phone, he also made reference to the fact that he had become a 'screener' just to avoid this friends calls.

I thought, wow, I need just such a list. I have people call me, and I end up trying and trying to come up with a really valid excuse why I can't do something with this person. How lame is it to say, "Uh, I am not dressed yet, it would take me too long to get ready." It is 2:00 on a Saturday afternoon, so this leaves me looking like some total lazy thing, because I am telling them I haven't dressed for the day yet! When I am really perfectly capable of walking out the door at a moments notice. Or, I use my kids, "I dunno, I know Daughter has plans, and needs me for a ride." Then they want to know the details. What details, I just made it up. Plus with her being very near to getting her drivers license that excuse is going to soon be gone.

Got to thinking, what are good excuses, that I wouldn't have to remember later--not a good liar--maybe that memory thing again.

1. "The dog is sick, gotta be home to let it out before it barfs all over the house." This wouldn't work, because most people who know me, know that I also have an outdoor kennel. A place I would indeed put a puking dog, if they weren't deathly ill, which when the dog is vomiting, it is usually because they had a nice roadkill snack during outside playtime (advantage to living in the country-don't have to keep them on a leash--disadvantage, way too much well-aged meat lying by the roadsides, or in nearby fields.)

2. "My house is a total wreck, I really have to clean today." Again, people who know me, know that I will find any excuse possible to escape housecleaning.

3. "I am sick" Okay fine, but then when I do decide I want to go somewhere, you KNOW I will run into the person I told I was sick.

4. "I have company coming later, and I have to cook, clean, etc." Again, they would ask for details, like who is coming, what am I making.........

Okay, I am seeing a problem here, the people I know are way too much into details, and I way too easy at giving them.

3 comments:

Sunny Delight said...

lmao, very good ones all!

Houseboat Bob said...

I find that any excuse has its own inherent weaknesses, as you already noted for example the level of detail that some people require. I mean - who was on the phone, don't they have to give you 7 days notice before cutting the power, I use the same blogger and it didn't go down where I live, etc. Nope - the best is to just not say anything but start barking like a dog - really softly - then switch to a growl. Most people will assume you have gone temporarily insane and walk away. Especially when you growl - Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Sunny Delight said...

woof woof and grrrrrrrrr to you both..lol

va-good detailed answers...and the dial-up demon sucks the big one!