Thursday, February 22, 2007

Life's Merry Go Round

Life, the very craziness of life at times sets my head spinning.

So much happening, so many changes, outward changes, inward changes.

In an older post I wrote briefly of my observations on the growth of my children over the years. How, as I watched each of them grow, watched each new stage of their development, (whether it be mental or physical), each stage was at first accompanied by many many faltering steps.....many failures......and then.......all at once.........it would all just seem to come together.......and there would be success!

Thus even though there is much upheaval happening.....or going to happen in my life. I also have this "Moondust Magic" (reference to yet another post) feel in my heart. I have taken so many faltering steps, had some major failures along the way, yet my world seems to be filling up with choices, wonderful possibilities are beckoning to me.

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A little more than 3 months ago, I changed focus in my career, I am still in the same field, but in two areas (I really perform two different jobs) in which I feel that I am able to give so much more. I truly love what I do.

Sigh.....Now, there is another job opportunity open, in a field I strongly considered entering many years ago. The position is one in which I am not sure I am mentally nor emotionally qualified to do, but it intrigues me immensely.

The problem with such opportunities, is that one does not often have the time to ponder them for long, or they will disappear.

When I was first told of the position, I immediately wanted to jump up, print out a copy of my resume and mail it in. But, since I am desperately trying to learn the arts of practicality and patience....I made myself take a breath, then another, told myself I am quite happy where I am......and promptly forgot all about it.......(it hasn't helped that I have been completely preoccupied in other areas of my life either......although some of those preoccupations are so very enthralling)

But this evening, I was once again reminded of the position........a whirling dervish flew in my front door.....excitement radiating off him......telling me, "It's still open, are you going to apply or not?!?!?!?!?!"

My initial reaction....."Yes! It would be an amazing job. An area where everyday would be exciting. An area where the smallest little thing I do would make a difference in the life of a child. I would love to see if they think I am qualified, if I have those special qualities it would entail."

My next thoughts......."Am I truly capable, could I give it my very best?"

It is a position that requires very special skills to do correctly, to perform in the best interest of all involved. It would take empathy, patience, knowledge, love, so very much love, discipline, a whole lotta discipline, some days it would take just plain old grit.........most days it could mentally wipe out the best of the best. Every day would be stressful. But, there is so much potential for good. The potential to help a child take steps toward a brighter healthier future.

So I ask myself, "Do I have that in me? Do I want to leave where I am now? I do truly love my job!"

Then I tell myself........"But, it wouldn't hurt to just send in my resume, possibly interview, after all, they probably wouldn't want me anyway, since I don't hold all of the necessary credentials. What can it hurt?"

Sigh, I haven't decided yet, some research to do, but 85% of me........really really wants to send that resume in......and even the thought of being rejected doesn't bother me........I keep thinking of possibilities.......of facing fears........too many years of hiding because of fear of failure? Or fear of success?

I think I talk to myself too much.

14 comments:

Fiona said...

It would take empathy, patience, knowledge, love, so very much love, discipline, a whole lotta discipline, some days it would take just plain old grit

....and what in there do you feel you don't have in absolute bucketfuls my love?!?!?!?!

Awesome opportunity, to be able to do something that means so much (I'm just a corporate whore). With my HR hat on I'd probably question an applicant looking for a job change so soon, but I know that you'd put my mind to rest with your enthusiasm and determination to prove to me that it's the job you've been waiting for all your life :)

Don't I recall similar hesitation at the time of your last move ;)

Send in your cv, that's my advice.

Sunny Delight said...

Fi, Thank you for your enormous vote of confidence, I am considering it....but I truly do not know if I have what it takes......but I am still on the verge of hitting print for my resume....it can't hurt to send it in.....really it can't...OK....I am convincing myself here ~smiling~

Fiona said...

Takes your pretty finger and presses 'enter' on the print command.

I'll even lick the envelope...and I don't do that for everyone *L*

Jonas said...

Yes, Sunny, you have it in you! You have far more to offer than you realize or recognize.

You are AWESOME!!! Therefore...this awesome opportunity is tailor-made for you.

Sunny Delight said...

Jonas, Thank you! Your confidence in me is inspiring.

I am not entirely sure of I have the abilities...it is a huge endeavor.

But since my finger seems to have NO will of it's own.....laughing at Fi....and she has promised to lick the envelope...it seems I have no choice...even though I am sure I am not qualified....but life is risk, no?

Jonas said...

And I am sure you ARE qualified. Wanna fight about it? Didn't think so. Just hit "PRINT"

And, heck, I'll lick anything you ask me to lick!

Sunny Delight said...

hmmm, oh my my my.

Fiona said...

*elbows Jonas out of the way* so long as you know I have dibs on the envelope *L*

Jonas said...

Ouch! Fiona! Be that as it may, my tongue stands at the ready!

Sunny Delight said...

Children, children! Be careful in all your jostling for position...I could make good use of both your tongues......

Ummmm....Fi......you get the envelope!

Jonas...*smiles and beckons with finger*

Jonas said...

Oh my!

Fiona said...

hahahahahahaha a standing tongue is it you have Jonas?~?~?

Methinks Sunny has plans for it ;)

LePhare said...

Trust me to get here just as the talk gets .......... well!

Do what you do best Sunny. Research it, decide, then go for it. You've got my vote.

Sunny Delight said...

Ian, thank you. You do seem to know me, I am still researching it......being the end of the week, I am giving myself until Monday.