Sleeza Leeza

(notice the so completely smooth complexion..think they used the smudging tool of the photo software here)

Okay not a nice way to start out, the title I mean, but there has always been something about Miss Sweetness and Light I just don't like.

Tonight was no exception, how did this television personality become a radio personality?
Was making a quick trip to the convenience store to purchase a gallon of milk, and who is the nighttime dj on one of the radio stations, no one but Ms. Gibbons herself. Tis true it is a mixed play station, but Leeza? And the talk of the evening was planning the perfect summer party, or at least I think it was. I have no idea who her guest was, but *insert valley girl accent here* she was totally gag me with a spoon!

The perfect summer party goes something like this, go to that closet that we all have in our homes, you know the one with yards and yards of fabric that you buy just to have on hand for those special occasions. Pick out a lovely summer print, take it to you favorite alterations person (her words not mine) and have a few table cloths, and some toss pillows made up, that way you can tie in your outdoor furniture, matching cloths and pillows on the chairs. Then please make sure you get the scraps of fabric left over because you can use those to drape them over the trees and such, really cute way tie it all in together!

To make your guests feel immediately at ease, offer them a drink (okay this part sounds good), margaritas are nice, and the hostest with the mostest doesn't have to worry about spending all of her time mixing drinks because now you can call 1-800-margarita and have it all premixed with premium tequila (didn't know you had to call anywhere, seen the stuff in liquor stores for years now), anyway as nice little ice breakers, hand your guests a margarita and a cocktail napkin, but not just any cocktail napkin, these cocktail napkins have little messages printed on them......such as:

one piece or two piece? (like that would go over well with my 300 pound friend)

are you a digger in the sand or a sandcastle builder?

on the rocks or frozen? (like the guest had a choice)

These little messages are ice breakers, we are to tell our guests to mingle, to go up to the next person they see and answer the questions on their cocktail napkins.

Like yeah right! Doesn't this sound like one of those team building retreats? Oh I hate the little games they make us play, now when it is time for the climbing wall, or the zip line count me in...oops getting off target here.

If I were at a party and the hosts asked me to do that, I would be talking about the cocktail napkins alright, but it would not be whether I wear a two piece or a one piece.....more like....how many margaritas can we snarf down before we move on to the next party?

Some ice breakers for the cocktail napkins at your next party:

Name your two favoite porn stars.

How many drinks does it take for you to make a total ass of yourself?

Victoria Secret or Fredricks of Hollywood?

Have you ever been tested for a STD?