Sparklings

"To cement a new friendship, especially between foreigners or persons of a different social world, a spark with which both were secretly charged must fly from person to person, and cut across the accidents of place and time."

The Ape in Me, 1959 ~Cornelia Otis Skinner~

"The accidents of place and time". They say timing is everything. It is, can be.

I've felt this "spark" several times in my life.
Sometimes so sharply it would take my breath away.
I would then wonder if it were one of those rare soul to soul connections.
Many times I believe they were.
Many of these friendships end when the touching of our souls have accomplished what needed to be accomplished.
They end.
They just do.
In the beginning of the ending I am always very sad.
Feeling lost and lonely, continually probing at the hole where their soul touch once was.
In the middle of the ending I always wonder what I could do to bring things back to the way they were.
When the finality of the ending completely sinks in I can't hold on any longer.
What spark is left I let die down to softly glowing embers of memory.
I attempt to say goodbye.
It doesn't mean I don't miss them.
Oh! I do.
It doesn't mean something very important was not taught and learned.
It doesn't mean I didn't grow and with the memories of that soul touch not continue to grow.
It doesn't mean I will forget them.
It's sad really.
These endings.
I've had so many endings in my life.
I once wrote that I had forgotten how to say hello.
That I only knew how to say goodbye.
I find it harder and harder to say goodbye.
I would rather drift away.
I've gotten very good at drifting.
Not very fair though to me or them.

I want to stop drifting.
I can't seem to allow myself to open up to the learning of that.
I don't know how.
Yet.