Mrs. Busybody

I imagine if you live in a neighborhood or small town, or did at one time, you have experienced the local busybody...the neighbor that knows everything about everyone, she has an opinion about everything she knows too, and she is not afraid to tell one and all.

I have a client who is one. She is 83, a widow, retired RN, mother of 3, grandmother of 10, when I first heard her voice on the phone, I would have guessed her in her late 50's, she was so cheery, so articulate, so well-versed on current events, a president of the local AARP,constantly on the go, she is always giving me tips on great one day trips around my home state. Mrs. Busybody lives in one of the first little additions that were built around the city after the end of WWII. She knows every neighbor, young or old, I mean she knows them, everything about them, more than they realize I think, she has at least one story for every house on either side of the street for at least a block. My first thought when she was recounting these tales to me, was "Oh these poor poor people, do they even realize what she knows? What she tells others?"

But as I have gotten to know her, even though living next door to her might be a challenge, she is also a blessing to many of her neighbors. The elderly ones anyway. She created a system for all of them, a way to know each morning that everyone was okay.

Neighbor 1 raises her the blind in her front window when she gets up. Neighbor 2 opens the outer door on her enclosed front porch. Neighbor 3 has a large suncatcher in her front window that is two different colors, she turns it each morning. That is how they begin their day, if they do not see the morning "all is well" signals, then the phone calls start, if they don't answer the phone then Mrs. Busybody gets out her cane and hobbles on over to knock on the door. If she knows they should be home,and are not answering she will use her cane to bang on the windows. One morning she couldn't raise Mrs. 2 so she climbed up on a large wooden box sitting underneath the kitchen window, tried peeking in, when she could see the remnants of a breakfast, when she saw the lady's walker standing in the entrance way to the kitchen, she started yelling and banging on the window with her cane. (during the telling of this story, I am thinking..my god woman you could have fallen, then where would you be?) She was not going to give up until she knew her neighbor was alright. Mrs. 2 was indeed not feeling well, had gotten up from her breakfast table and gone back to bed. When she should have called the doctor....an insulin reaction because Mrs. 2 decided she didn't need to check her bloodsugar that morning.

This is just one story she has related to me. She has even gone so far as to call a neighbors children in another state, or a power of attorney, and berated them for neglecting their loved one.

She monitors them, on her daily or every other day visits, she snoops in their medications, making sure (she says) that they are taking it properly. She asks them such personal questions, questions that perhaps only a retired nurse would ask, she asks about their bowel movements...lol...she asks them what they have eaten that day. If she feels they are not eating properly, she will then make a special dish just for them to tempt their appetites.

Sometimes she does go too far, sometimes she totally pisses people off, but sometimes, they are very happy she is there.

How far is going too far though? I wonder, as I said, I think it would annoy me no end to have such a neighbor, but as a family member who lives far away, I think I would be very happy that my parent had someone like that looking out for them.