Monday, October 09, 2006

Wandering off the path.

Finding my way.....many times I have mulled those three words over, wondering if I have.

In recent months, they have been in my mind a lot....wondering...have I found it?

Did it happen, and I missed the epiphany? It just occurred one day, or so slowly over a span of time that I haven't really noticed?

There are days when I feel as if I am centered, I am balanced, I know where I am going, I realize I have done many things right, more things right than wrong.....

Is that it, is that having found our way?

But then there are those days when I just feel out of sorts, not really sure what I am supposed to be doing...or that the direction I seem to be traveling is not very good for me, or good for those in my life. Wondering......Am I on the right path? Did I get lost, and need to create a new one?

Today due to the death of someone very important in my life, I had the opportunity to see some people I have not seen in taught me something very important.

There are people who enter into our lives, for a period of time we may see them often, spend many hours with them....and then something in our life or their life changes, and we may not see each other for years....we lose touch....we think about each other on occasion...but don't pick up the phone and call ....don't put pen to paper and send a small "Hi, thinking of you" note.....we just let those thoughts enter our minds and then move on to the next task in life that seems so very important.

But, then something heartbreaking happens.....and those true friends....... those people that we have let disappear from our lives, that were once so much a part of our lives.....they are there.....right there in front of you, to give you a kind word, a hug, a smile...and you know that.....yes you are on the right could you not be? These wonderful people are a part of your life....they may not be there on a daily basis....but when it counts....really counts...there they are.....they are there for you, to let you know that you are someone who touched their life, someone important to them.

The number of times my heart lifted earlier see someone enter the room whom I have not seen in years....and they were there to tell us that they were there for us if we were in need.

I question though, would I be there for them? If I knew......yes I would be....but so many times.... because of inattention....I do not know until later that a former very close friend was or is in need, and I think it is too late....but perhaps it is never too late to let someone know that we care.

No matter what has happened in our lives to keep us from being there immediately, maybe just being there when we can be is enough.....after tonight, this past weekend, it was enough for me.

I don't want to forget how wonderful it felt to feel the love and friendship I felt tonight...I don't want to forget that it is never too late. That whatever path my life happens to be following, it is the right path, if there are so many wonderful loving people along it to help guide me in my search.


DG said...

In death, there is unification and the opportunity to reunite. It's one of the gifts of death.

Fiona said...

loss and grief do help people find their way back to us....everyone comes to us for a reason, or we to them

big hugs for you in this difficult time