Saturday, April 07, 2007

Purpose


Philosophical Statements


"The greatest truth is that which we choose to act upon"

"Meaning is created by human beings actions and interpretations"

"Humans define themselves in terms of whom they become as their individual lives are played out in response to the challenges posed by existence in the world."

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A purpose for my life, a life of balance, is it predetermined, or an outgrowth of my own experiences? I cannot truly see it as predetermination. The experiences of living determine my direction, determine what I do, how I feel, how I express my need to be a human of good will. There are some days when I have a perfect knowledge of what that direction is, others leave me wondering.

* * * *

In my relationships with others, I have often used the phrase, or one similar to, "The purpose for my being a part of her/his life, is/was................."


We are drawn to certain people, in effect I think how we are drawn, and by whom, changes as we ourselves grow in experience, and in how we interpret our experiences, how we infuse our life experiences within our being.

I have always looked for the underlying reasons that may have helped form many of my relationships. As I examine the people I befriend, or those that befriend me, we all share at least some commonalities. Those closest to me, share several common beliefs, values, desires, experiences. Often those commonalities are quite obvious, at other times, very imponderable, when only looked at from the surface. It is only when an in depth analysis is done, that it becomes unequivocally clear to me (not always, but most of the time), why I choose to remain friends with someone who seems so very different from me. I then decide, we each have a purpose to be in the life of the other. There is experience, knowledge, growth, to be gleaned from the relationship. We serve each other.

* * * *

As I mentioned, we are drawn to people for a myriad of reasons, many times not even realizing the full extent as to why, we just are. We may find ourselves seeking these people out more and more, wishing to explore that attraction.

Even here in the blogging world, maybe even more so in the world of online meetings, we find kindred spirits, we read their words, and hope they are truly from their heart. After a time, we begin to truly sense the truths behind the words, especially if we are willing to take that next step, and begin more personal exchanges, we learn more and more of them. I have met many people online, initially through the forum of a chat room, and later through blogging. Of those, there are only a handful of people that I can truly say have become kindred spirits, who have touched my soul, who have given me the gifts of their experiences, and of whom I can gift them back with my own. We serve each other, in friendship, acceptance, and love. We have a purpose for being in each other's lives.

In my life away from the computer, in face to face life, it is often more difficult to break through the boundaries I impose upon myself when meeting new people. I have to be truly fascinated by "that something" that entices me in, that sense I have about someone that keeps me trying to know more. Once that occurs the boundaries are sometimes dropped immediately, we "get" each other, we share our stories, our triumphs, our worries, our dreams, our experiences, we begin to serve each other. We each have a purpose for being in the friendship.

In one of my face to face friendships, it took me several years to understand that we served a purpose in knowing each other. Our philosophy of life is vastly different, our views on most any subject, very different. I am liberal, open-minded, a rule bender, I see the shades of gray in life. She is conservative, close-minded on many subjects, she sees rules most often only in black and white. She is also quite superficial in the way she lives, objects denote her worth, attention denotes her worth, the more attention she receives the 'better' she must be. But under all the superficiality, under all of her bravado, under all of her "social butterfly" exterior, lies a very tortured soul, one that exhibits itself in destructive ways, most often aimed at others. But, from knowing her, observing her, hearing about her life experiences, I have benefited. Knowing her has taught me to be even more accepting of all personalities, to search deeper for meaning behind the actions of others. Her purpose for being in my life?

What was my purpose in her life? One day, as I questioned why I continued to keep her in my life, I realized, that there was some essence of my personality that "got through" to her. I could tell her, how her actions made me feel, question her about why she behaved so harmfully to others, make statements regarding the very hurtfulness of those actions, and even make suggestions on other less harmful ways of determining the same outcome.

She has always accepted my words for what they are, as they are, they are not intended to be judgmental, nor intended to change her, they are spoken out of caring, (Okay, in all honesty, I, do sometimes, hope she will learn from, and possibly try to change a few of her more damaging actions and reactions, by hearing my wisdom and insight ~ehrmm .....laughter is allowed here~).

She doesn't shut me out, she doesn't blow me off, she listens, she reflects upon what I have to say, she often internalizes, and in turn asks me questions. She trusts my experiences of life, to guide me in what I say. In the end, even with our vastly different viewpoints, we gain wisdom from the other. As difficult as it was for me to see, we do share some commonalities between us. Early on, I knew there was something about her that struck a chord within me. We just exhibit our scars in different ways.

* * * *

We each have life experiences to share, it is how we interpret them, and use them that define us. In the sharing of ourselves, we add meaning, we learn, we grow, and we sometimes teach.

Truthfully, that is what I want my life purpose to be, by living, by loving, by being open to all the possibilities that giving, relating, and experiencing offers.

During my existence on this world, I continually hope that with each day of living, I can find the right and true way to just be the best me I can be, to live a life that is meaningful to me, one that is centered and feels balanced.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

"We should stay nestled in the present, and not run away to the past or the future."




12 comments:

X. Dell said...

Interesting story between you and your friend. Tragedy is, many people tend to avoid those who are not like them, especially in superficial ways.

Then again, as you point out, that might be the purpose of living.

deb said...

I'm starting to believe that other people in my life are there to teach me somethng.

I especially like the last line of your post
"We should stay nestled in the present, and not run away to the past or the future."

That's hard to do but I'm starting to realize how important that is as well.

wreckless said...

I agree with x.dell
Nice quotes
I have been out of the loop lately due to spring break.

The Savage said...

Ahhhhhhh The deepness of thy mortal thoughts....
'Tis as though a muse came upon thee not to inspire but to be inspired....

By the way.. I got the fixin's to make a feather quill or three...

Sunny Delight said...

x.dell,
I try very hard to be open to the personalities I meet, one never knows, what experiences they may open up for us.....even if they are negative, I still learn something...hopefully

deb,
I do believe, very strongly that all have something to teach.

That last quote, I try so hard to live, but you are so very right, it is very difficult some days.

wreckless,
Thank you, and I too agree with x.dell, funny, I often do.

I hope your spring break was refreshing and re-energizing for you.

Savage,
The words trip so prettily off your tongue. ~smiling~
Thank you.

Feather quills, hmmmmmm.

Ciera said...

loved that last quote...my biggest struggle

Sunny Delight said...

ciera,

Mine too, I am a worrier, worrying about the failures of the past, and possible future failures.....then I try to remember to breathe, just breathe, allow my dreams to fly to my someday wishes.....I am glad I have dreams again, and to just let go of the past...feel what I need to feel, acknowledge that I feel it, and let it go...it is a slow process, but one I hope I am achieving.....

Sally-Sal said...

"We exhibit our scars in different ways"

You took the words right out of my brain. Hurt/disappointment/rejection tempers us all in different ways. Sometimes it's like a chisel that shapes the marble into something beautiful.

Sunny Delight said...

sally,
"a chisel that shapes the marble into something beautiful"

That is a beautiful thought!

Fiona said...

Another thought-provoking post and yes, people come to teach us, as we too arrive to teach them.

I love that last quote too, and I strive - and sometimes struggle - to live it.

Sally - awesome analogy!!!!

Sunny Delight said...

fiona,

Knowing you, has taught me much, and I know there is more to learn, from you, and many others in my life.

Struggling....it is a struggle to just accept each moment,to live them, the good and the bad, those full of love and beauty, those that feel as if we will not survive them.

But, I do want to live them.......all of them! Especially if I can learn to be a better me, from them.

I wish I could remember where I got the quote from.... I think it was a site devoted to the poetry of Friedrich Holderlin.

Fiona said...

http://home.att.net/~holderlin/tableofcontents.htm