Wednesday, June 06, 2007


I am weary, so weary this evening. A day away from the office, spent with the Caregivers/Family members, of the victims of Alzheimer's Disease, thus a day filled with many emotions, humor was there in full force, one cannot survive such a life without that, yet so much sadness. Several times my eyes filled with unshed tears this day, engendered by the Caregivers themselves, or in one such instance by a victim of the disease herself, who is in the early stages of the disease, and missing her life as it was before. A devastating illness, that leaves its own legacy of pain, fear, grief, and, yet, there was joy too, and so much love.

One of those days when emotions are fragile, feeling as if I could be blown away by the slightest sigh of a breeze.

I feel as if I am playing the waiting game. My attorney did not file the paperwork as he was supposed to last Friday. I had the strangest feeling of uneasiness on Tuesday morning, and made the decision I needed to double-check, just to be sure all was in order. After three phone calls, I learned it was not. The office was closed when I finally had the opportunity to call. At this point, I can only hope the petition was finally filed today.

Once again, I wait, and wait. Not knowing when my soon-to-be-ex-husband will receive THE LETTER. Not knowing if his reaction will be more anger, or some other emotion.

Not knowing, and waiting.

Life goes on, one breath at at time, one inhale, one exhale, as we move ever onward.


Fiona said...

Everything feels so fragile sometimes, doesn't it Sunny.

You'll get there. You have a lot of people behind you, here for you.

Everything has a reason and as I've said to you...maybe the hidden reason behind the delay is to make it more tolerable for your husband, to know that you spoke with him and gave him time between that and actually receiving the letter, allowing him time to breathe.

Hugs honey.

Jonas said...

One foot in front of the other. Breathe in...breathe out.

"The only way out is through..."

LePhare said...

It's a lot to take on. What you've been going through today and what you are dealing with in your own life. Take care Sunny.

Ciera said...

Sigh....alzheimer's is such an ugly disease...

yep, one breath at a time

X. Dell said...

And for this quality of service, your attorney wants how much?

They should file soon. There's nothing ethical about playing games with you.

Jac said...

Here is a new "spin" on fragility. You, my dear are building a spider's web, intricate and fragile, but ultimately strong elastic and self-made! "Despite being a very fine filament, spider silk is so enormously strong scientists have calculated a strand would have to be fifty miles long before it would break under its own weight. A thread of spider silk has greater tensile strength than steel of the same diameter, at the same time being so elastic it can stretch more than twenty-five percent of its normal length before breaking." ! Wow, fragile and strong. Now that is a website!

Sunny Delight said...

Yes it does, I am still feeling it, emotions are very close to the surface, which in one way is good, but in another, not so good. The paper work was filed late Wednesday, and so it begins.....You know what happened yesterday....another humbling experience...but I got through it, realized I am allowing my inner child to rule me, and that must STOP!

I do hope my husband will be more accepting as time moves on....

hugs backatcha!

One foot, one breath, one moment, and I will get through....

Thank you, I am getting there, I have the inner strength, I just have to tap into it...and keep tapping....eventually, I hope to find myself dancing.

It is the most devastating of illnesses, to be sure.
I need to check out your blog, to see how you are doing, been very remiss about that lately.,
I am hoping this incident was only a small kink in the works, not a sign of things to come.....hoping, hoping, hoping.

You always manage to give me a smile, and I am so grateful for your pearls of wisdom. Your loved ones are very lucky to have you in their lives.