Sunday, August 12, 2007

On the Verge

The Journey

One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice --
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles
"Mend my life!"
each voice cried.
But you didn't stop.
You knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried
with its stiff fingers
at the very foundations,
though the melancholy
was terrible.
It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen
branches and stones.
But little by little,
as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice
which you slowly
recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do --
determined to save
the only life you could save.

~Mary Oliver~

My decision was for the best, is for the best.

So why do I feel so damn lost?


Fiona said...

Because you're still going through it to the other side. You're still realising what you are leaving behind, hurts to leave behind, no matter how good the future might be. Because you aren't 'there' yet and it's such a hard journey.

But the feelings of being lost will subside, as you find more and more of your self Sunny. As you allow more and more of yourself to be realised.

Big big hugs from me to you

Anonymous said...

Because we even mourn the death of awful things that hurt us.

LePhare said...

Give yourself time Sunny. It's still too soon. And stop trying to dot the i's and cross the t's. Nothing has to be that perfect.

Stand up hug from Ian.

X. Dell said...

I would guess that you won't feel lost forever.

Jonas said...

I'm glad/delighted Mary Oliver speaks to you the way she speaks to me. She's right, of course - the only life you can save is your own...

Sunny Delight said...

Thank you all so much, you are all right...I need to put it all in the proper perspective...thank you for helping me see that.

*Hugs for you all, and a special stand-up hug for you, Ian ~smiling~*

Ciera said...

If we never felt would we ever know it when we were either rescued or found our way? Hope that doesn't sound uncompassionate or anything...It's just soemething I've learned in my own life...that to appreciate the good, you have to go though some of the bad