Random notes to remind myself that no matter how often I try to convince myself otherwise, life can be pretty OK sometimes.
There are days when I feel as if my entire life is one humongous mess...but then something happens to allow me to prove to myself that I'm just not as bad as I try to convince myself I am.
I did another presentation tonight...the subject was one I am far from expert on, but gotta say...I FREAKIN' ROCKED! And, I have the audience evaluations to prove it! I always read audience evaluations with a feeling of trepidation...but these were filled with great responses, and who am I to argue with them? Of course I also know that one of the reasons why I feel so good right now is strictly because of the presentation, and the rush of adrenalin I always get from a job well done.
I've been exploring job opportunities of late, I've come across two that have really sparked my interest. One is here for our local city government working with teens. The other is in Belgium...which is the main reason it sparked my interest, and in my own little area of social services...although it is working for the military in a civilian capacity...which would be the downside. It's time for me to decide if I am serious about moving on, and if so, then I need to get my resume updated.
I have a very very early meeting with my attorney tomorrow, and I'm feeling alright about that too, which is weird, I usually get very sad right before our meetings, but, I am reaching the point where I WANT THIS DIVORCE DONE!
And, maybe I feel good because I've only had one drink tonight...a record for me of late.
Reminders to self...
#1) My life is what I make it. So, even though I am a mass of confusion when it comes to love and relationships, and I eventually have to really examine my feelings in that area, I also know I have to make those decisions for the right reasons, I'm not going to rush anything. I'm finally learning to give myself the time to do what feels right...for me.
#2) Don't forget this feeling, don't forget that I am good at some things, damn good!
#3) Drink less.