Tuesday, October 31, 2006

I Missed the Good Part

I was so ready yesterday to tell my boss of my resignation...to hand in my 'formal' letter...and what happens? She doesn't show up until noon, after I had been at work all morning I had to leave for a client interview.... when I return to the office she is there and has been told by our COO, I told him on Friday because of many factors...mostly needing to let him know some of the reasons I am leaving....and hoping in some way for him and the rest of his "team" to realize they need to make some changes that are simple but they seem unable to see or they are going to lose many more of us.....our current employee turnover rate is 58%. Tell you anything?

Anyway, I didn't get to witness her initial reaction, and somehow that disapointed me I wanted to see her squirm just a little before I told her I would work extra for them until they get my replacement hired and trained (evil I know but I was looking forward to it)....I did learn later that she "blew up" at another employee, which they blamed on me....and I gladly took the blame...because they did not deserve nor did the problem deserve that type of reaction.


After also sharing my news with those I supervise, and a few of my friends at work...I was beginning to have second thoughts about my decision. That didn't last long.

Today she then has the nerve to say she learned of it before I came into work yesterday at noon....I looked at her and said, I was in at 8:50 yesterday morning...you were the one that wasn't here until noon. And after a few snippy little emails from her...... a half dozen phone calls from those she is supposed to be supervising who request to speak with me instead to handle their problems..... I remembered the main reason why I am leaving....I am leaving because I can no longer work with someone who keeps secrets, who thinks communication should only flow upward, who has no people skills....grrrr!

So anyway....I am still feeling the stress of making such a big change...still feeling the excitement, nerves, dread, and fear, but mostly excitement....hoping I still feel that sense of excitement in 2 weeks, and wishing oh wishing I had taken some vacation time between jobs.


The worst part of leaving will be the people I deal with daily, in that I feel sadness, I have not often felt that I am the greatest supervisor in the world.....but the women I work with...they have opened up so much in the past 18 months...felt a trust they never felt before...and I feel as if I am letting them down. Even the ones I do not directly supervise call me at home at least weekly....... their jobs can be so tough...... they need someone with empathy to listen to them, and I may have my faults...but empathy I have in spades!

The clients too, oh I will miss them...even those that cause me the most headaches, I will miss them. A few I will stay in contact with.....but the rest.... fellow employees and clients....my fear is I will let happen once again what I always let happen....I have people in my life...that are so special to me....and I let them slip away...over time...I just let them slip away. ~sigh~


I keep telling myself change is good, Fiona (thanks sweetie *S*) keeps telling me this is a good thing for me....now...I just have to listen!


Fiona said...

It IS IS IS a good thing. Change pushes us in positive ways.

And if you weren't sure before, you are now. These are the things that bring out the true colours in people and you were wasting yourself having a person like that as your 'supervisor' because you are worth a hundred of her.

Yes, you'll miss people, yes you'll definitely be missed. I know you as a friend and I can honestly say that I would LOVE to have you as a work colleague!!!

I think with people, it's important to remember this:

"I am a better person, with more possibilities in my life, for having had my path cross yours, as we journeyed through this time and place."

We don't always stay in each other's lives, paths which cross don't always converge. But they do cross and I am very sure that for those you have 'let slip away', they remember you for making them better people, as they have done for you hon.

Now don't forget to 'pop in' LOL!!

Great big reassuring hugs, it's all going to be wonderful.

Fiona said...

By the way turnover rate is horrendous - and are the same jobs turning over repeatedly?

Apart from the emotional cost, from a purely business point of view (recruitment, training, orientation, mentoring)employees are like customers - it's so much easier and cheaper to keep and existing one, than to find a new one.

Fiona said...

ok I need to proofread my typing more carefully *L*....to keep AN existing one....

Phil said...

It is a good thing and Fiona is right. BTW, why can't that George Bush Days left in Office countdown be changed to Days Until Phil's Presidential Coronation Countdown?