Friday, October 27, 2006

Changes

In recent months I have half-heartedly been searching for a new job. Whenever one that interested me came open I would send in a resume....most I eventually decided weren't really for me or they decided I wasn't for them....then a couple of old work pals told me of an opening in an agency that I work closely with. Intrigued I sent them my resume...at the very last minute of course....my procrastination showing through...I received an email the next day asking me for an interview, and salary history.

Had the interview--which went great btw, discussed salary, less than I am making now...but they worked on it...and raised it substantially from the first offer....at that point I was flying high! Imagining all the new possibilities....the new things I would learn....the variety of experiences I would have......she wants a second interview....we talk...I get more excited.....

At todays second interview we talk benefits and salary.....

She says...." the dollar amount"
I say...."I can live with that"

Then I say..."are you offering me the position?" (shocked)

She says..."it makes me sick."

I say...."it makes you sick to offer me the job?" (laughing)

She laughs...."No, that I cannot offer you more money, to be honest I had 3 great candidates but I want you!"

My thoughts....wow, cool---then---- what if I disapoint her? what if I turn out to be not all that great? what if I can't do it? (I do not have a self-esteem problem)

I was trying so hard not to wriggle in my chair in excitement....we talk some more...I learn a few more details of the position....it is everything I think I want.....except.....except.....


So I yahoo my friend who works there...tell her my idiotic low-self-esteem worries....she tells me....

"You will be great, you have always been an overchiever."

Is she talking to me? Me? God I must have her fooled.

So...what I do know is......

I want this job...it has so much about it that I know I would like...love.

Another friend said to me....to reach your dreams you have to cross your fear...pretty good wisdom from someone half my age!

I know I need to make some changes in my life....I love my current job....but also strongly dislike the atmosphere and poor management style.... this is a life change....granted not a humongous one....but still something different.....

The downsides of the whole thing....
1) I have never in my whole working life.....worked a rigid 9-5 type schedule....I have always had the flexibility to create my own schedule....I will not have that with this job.
Someone told me "Welcome to the real world"

2) The people I supervise will miss me, I am one damn good boss! and I will miss them.
Two someone's told me "You have to do what is best for you"

3) Am I looking for change in the wrong place? Am I facing the wrong fear?


5 comments:

Fiona said...

We emailed....I still thinks it's AWESOME!!!! and you go girl!!!

"Am I looking for change in the wrong place? Am I facing the wrong fear?" Nope...look on it as a practice run for other more life-changing things. Once you see you can do this, you'll pretty much know you can do anything you set your mind to.

Tell that damn voice inside you this....she chose you based on what she saw in you, probably what she heard about you, and definitely what she felt from spending time with you. SHE CHOSE YOU!!!!

Celebrate being chosen. Celebrate being good enough to be chosen above the others. Celebrate your bravery. Celebrate the newness of it all and the possiblities of it all. Celebrate this new wonderful path you are on.

I'm excited. I really am. I live vicariously ;)

Phil said...

Sunny- CONGRATULATIONS! You might like a strict 9-5 job. The regular hours can be a relief as much as flexibility can be. They say learning new things causes a wrinkle in your brain. Don't be afraid to wrinkle your brain. Just jump in with both feet. It's only life. You get one, why not take chances. "Of all the words of tongue or pen, the saddest are 'what might have been'."

LePhare said...

They want you. Not, they want you?

Just take it a day at a time, one step at a time, and you will be fine. It's them that are the lucky ones.

Sunny Delight said...

Thank you my friends for your support, it feels like receiving 3 very warm hugs...I told them today that I would take the position.....eeek! *bites finger nails*

LePhare said...

Good for you. Lots of luck...... but I'm sure you won't need it.